i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
