I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
