i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
