it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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