Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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