It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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