so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
