Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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