He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
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Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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