how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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