Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
