My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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