it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
