Do you still have your period?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
