Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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