jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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