it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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