He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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