Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
