If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
