THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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