The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
