I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
