the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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