Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
