At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
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Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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