his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
