I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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