This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it was like having sex with a tree stump
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
