i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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