I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
