just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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