I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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