I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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