I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
