OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
