i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
