I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
