Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
