I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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