glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
