I'm really into asian looking animals
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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