Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
