Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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