If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
