why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize