My hand turned me down
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize