dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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