I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize