I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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