Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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