There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
