So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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