dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
