i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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