What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
