Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
