this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
