I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
