Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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