So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
