I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
