Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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