so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
