Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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